The best goodbye present Coldplay could give

... assuming their announced hiatus is final (assumption, not fact)

From today's NYTimes, by Claudia H. Deutsch:

"It may well have been the best 99 cents Alex Ostrovsky ever spent.

Early yesterday, he paid that amount to download "Speed of Sound," a song on the Coldplay album "X&Y," from the iTunes Music Store...He did not know it, but it was the billionth song the site had sold, and Apple was not about to let that go unnoticed.

So at 12:45 a.m., Mr. Ostrovsky's phone rang. It was an Apple employee, telling him that in addition to the song, Apple was giving him a 20-inch iMac, 10 iPods and a $10,000 gift card for the iTunes store. It is even establishing a scholarship at the Juilliard School in his name".

Yes, yes, I know it's courtesy of Apple computers, not Coldplay. But let's be poetic and assume it all came from Gwyneth's daughter, shall we?

Ostrovsky is 16. Before you know it, he will be one of us, crazy bloggers, iPodders, iTuners, SteveJobbers. Maybe I should save him. Yes, I think I will administer his new properties until he's old enough to enjoy them safely, say, for a couple of years...?

like crack for ears

If there were a way to inject music in vein, to make it hit the bloodstream any faster than it does by travelling thru the acoustic nerve, I swear I'd do it. I am a junkie for music.

Oh my God.

Pat Metheny - The way up
Prince - Black sweat
David Axelrod - The Edge/David McCallum
Digitonals - Snowflake vectors
Bonobo - Dismantling Frank
J. Steinkoler Quartet - the 8ball is neutral
One Be Lo - Deceptacons
Kano, Ghetto, Big Seac, Demon & Doctor - Get set
Ayatollah - The devil is sweet

Jeff "Tain" Watts - everything played at last Saturday's Jazz at Lincoln center's "Pittsburgh: from the heart of Steeltown" tribute concert
Mary Lou Williams - Mary's idea, as played at Jazz at Lincoln center's "Pittsburgh: from the heart of Steeltown" tribute concert (though Zodiac's suite remains my all-time favourite)
Strayhorn's "Raincheck" - STRICTLY as played at Jazz at Lincoln center's "Pittsburgh: from the heart of Steeltown" tribute concert, complete of a very a propos dedication by Artistic Director Wynton Marsalis: "to Chertoff", and all the players who are facilitating the post-Katrina reconstruction...

C'mon y'all we can't miss this!

Yes it's Chapelle, and no it's not on Oprah. It's in theaters, March 3.

Kanye West is Playboy's March interview

Self-explainatory, no need to comment on my side. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Just got the magazine, here's a few highlights...

Kanye West is Playboy's March interview.
The Grammy nominated (sic) rapper discusses being self-conscious, hip-hop homofobia, and why Jay-Z owes Playboy 1,000$

Acclaimed rapper Jay-Z tapped West to produce his new album, the album that will bring him out of retirement..
"I'm like the rap version of Chappelle. He talks about serious things, but he makes you laugh to keep from crying..
I'm nowhere near as good as Jay-Z, Eminem or Nas. So I compensate... With star power, sheer energy, entertainment, videos, really good outfits and overwhelmingly, ridiculous dope tracks..
I have normal conversations all the time while looking at these sites (his fav. porn sites, "Ass man's paradise" and "Mexican lust"). If this were a phone interview I'd probably be looking at porn. It's an addiction. Whenever we go to the porn store, we call it the crack house. And I stash my porn just like someone would stash weed, in a baggie..
She was my girlfriend and she had great titties (talking about the girl he lost his virginity to) even by my standards today... the nipples were almost the same color as the skin. I used to love those f**king titties. I'd stare at them.."

Ok I WILL share a couple of comments then leave the floor to you.
First off: Jay-Z's new album? HOV-A PULLS A NEW ONE? Oh man, suddenly 2006 doesn't suck so much.
Second, well: Kanye's porn addiction (whether his, uh, rococo' taste in clothing and his speaking out against homofobia tells anything about his own sexual orientation is a trite issue...). His addiction will be the subject of future entries on these pages so stay tuned. I consider myself quite the libertine and yet I have to admit I was surprised at how common porn addiction, in various forms and degrees, is - in the States at least.
Coming soon: "tu quoque my unsuspectable friend?". "The case of the 'Blacks on Blonde' mov" (I still can't believe my eyes). And "Is there anything wrong with it anyway?"

As I said in one of my previous posts, sex and its role as a power tool in young generations will definitely be the subject of my next book.

Pink mist and last times detector

Great episode of Grey's anatomy tonight.

A man and his pal reenact WWII and build a piece of artillery. They fire it but it backlashes and one of the gunmen takes one in the chest. Christina Ricci - a paramedic on her second week on the job - gets to stick her hand in the man's chest to stop the beeding. But only at the hospital, with the patient already in OR and the surgeon ready to go in (and Christina to remove her hand) do they realize that the granade DIDN'T GO OFF upon firing. It's in the man's chest, a bomb ready to explode. So everybody freeze: we're calling a code black, bomb squad gets in, Christina keep your fucking hand where it is. Pull a Wednesday Addams and FREEZE.

Someone later on in the episode mentions the "pink mist". Apparently it's the bomb squad's code for a target that blows up.

Someone else in the episode talks about last moments, how they're important although you never realize when you're living one (last kiss with your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, last words with your soon-to-pass grandma). And it reminded me of yet another idea for a book I had. What if someone invented a "last times detector", a decoy that actually detects such moments and beeps every time, advising you that you'd better live it to the max, cuz it's the last one you'll have. Wouldn't it be cool?

Yeah, I already know what you're gonna say. No, it wouldn't be cool at all. Some things it's better not to know you'll never have again.

I love music - part 1

And the Grammys, because they're just like Christmas with the family: you already know it's going to be one fucked up, tacky ride, but you also know you'll end up having a great time, and someone may actually surprise you with acts of incredible generosity and some pretty good jokes (in the case of Grammys, substitute "generosity" with "talent" - I don't see Sly of Sly and the Family Stone giving away his Christian Dior maxi-logoed shades anytime soon. Or Kanye give up his nightstalker black leather gloves for that matter. Wait though, Bruce Springsteen was there so I take it back: generosity, humanity and Grammys, compatible after all).

Anyway, in consideration of my love for music - and yes for the Grammys too (love/hate, it will be full-on love when they'll promote Jazz Grammys too to primetime) here are my favourite 2006 Grammy Awatds moments. And my playlist for the week.

Ducati's 2006 Grammy highlights:

Bruce Springsteen "Devils and Dust", acoustic, beautiful, final words, "Bring 'em home!"
Jay Z, Linkin Park, "Encore" and a GREAT piano transition to "Yesterday", with Sir Paul McCartney joining in
Alicia Keys and Steve Wonder, a cappella, "Higher ground"
Dave Chapelle, on how as a kid he promised his Mom to climb right to the top of the socio-economic ladder ("I was a smart kid!") and once there, to go right back to Africa...
Keith Urban. Yes, Keith Urban, Nicole, country and all. I love fine execution and musicianship, even I don't necessarily dig the genre.
U2, performance and acceptance speech(es): Bono, explaining how the "atomic bomb" that is dismantled as per title of their latest album is in fact his Dad, with whom he had never made peace.. until he passsed.. and until last night. Bono again, accepting their, 4th? 5th? statuette: "If you think all this will go to our head....Too late!"
Matt Dillon to Ludacris: "I'ma leave you read the nominations for Best rap act, cuz you're a far better rapper than I am". Luda: "Aw, thank you man! That means a lot to me"
Common. The most gorgeous man in the room. Please Common (what the hell is your real name again?), marry me.
Corporate, 3-pieces-of-tweed Jay Z: love him.
Kanye West, as a memento of how one should never dress (but always sing and produce).

Ducati's playlist for the current week:

All Is Full Of Love (Video Version) Björk
All Things Must Pass Harrison Joel George Harrison
Amazon Galaxy 2 Galaxy
Awakening Corey Christiansen
Busy Signal Prefuse 73
Crest Tortoise
Fix You Coldplay
Follow The Leader Eric B. & Rakim
Get By Remix (Remix) Talib Kweli Feat. Mos Def, Jay
Kanye West-I'm Good
Ghostwriter Rjd2
Glosoli Sigur Ros
God is a DJ Faithless
Gogol Bordello - Gypsy Part of Town
Gold Genius/GZA RZA Liquid Swords
Home Depeche Mode
hoppípolla Sigur Rós
Hyper-ballard Bjork
In the Back Seat The Arcade Fire
Inca roads Frank Zappa
Kill Switch DJ Krush Feat. Aesop Rock DJ Krush Jaku
Kiss Of Death Jadakiss Kiss Of Death
Labels Genius/GZA
Not about love Fiona Apple
Old School ft. Talib Kweli Danger Doom
Pelican Narrows Caribou
People Are People Depeche Mode
Perverted Undertone Prefuse 73
Poinciana Ahmad Jamal At The Pershing
Precious Depeche Mode
Propellerheads - On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Protect Me From What I Want Placebo
Raw Big Daddy Kane Colors
Shes Hearing Voices Bloc Party
Solid Ashford & Simpson
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own U2
Song Seller Klute
Song X Pat Metheny, Ornette Coleman
Stormy Cloud DJ Krush Feat. Ken Shima DJ Krush Jaku
Straight Outta Compton N.W.A.
Tacky Klute
Take it easy The Fugees
Talk Cold Play
This Woman's Work Maxwell
You rock my world Michael Jackson - DjCam remix
Windowlicker Aphex Twin

And just like that the frown is gone

New Line Cinema has acquired The Jazz Ambassadors, a pitch for Antoine Fuqua to direct and Morgan Freeman to star in as jazz impresario Duke Ellington, says Variety. Fuqua is expected to next direct the Paramount drama By Any Means Necessary this spring.
"Jazz" covers the Ellington orchestra's tour of Iraq during a 1963 CIA-led coup that would eventually pave the way for Saddam Hussein's rise to power.
Part of the intrigue is the discovery, years later, that the CIA exploited the global zeal for Ellington's jazz by planting spies in the entourage as the orchestra toured hostile parts of the world. When and if Ellington knew of the program will be part of the drama.

(courtesy of eJazznews)

Denzel Washington in Fuqua's Training day? Oooooohhhh. Big O. B-I-G O.

I guess I needn't comment

But I will say I'm ashamed. And frustrated. I saw my first opera at 12, at La Scala theater, Milan, my hometown. It was Puccini's Madame Butterfly. Last act, how a butterfly dies: with an immaculate kimono, on an immaculate stage, the katana firmly pushed in her own belly, falling on her knees, bending over, opening a laquer-red fan underneath her body. From where I was sitting, it looked like a pool of blood growing and growing and growing...

"Three major Italian houses could face government takeovers because of growing financial problems, the London Times reports.

Venice's La Fenice has a deficit of 3 million euros; Genoa's Teatro Carlo Felice expects a loss of 4.6 million euros; Naples' Teatro San Carlo projects a shortfall of close to 7 million euros. Italian law says that any opera house with a deficit of over 5 million euros will be declared bankrupt and placed under the oversight of a government appointee.

The opera houses blame the government for their financial problems. Prime minister Silvio Berlusconi has slashed the country's arts budget, much of which is spent on subsidizing opera, by one third".

The again, the local scene is not turning my frown into a smile. What if I told you a Colorado music teacher tried to pique the curiosity of the first, second, and third graders in one of her classes about opera, chosing a video of Gounod's Faust, to teach the children about bass and tenor voices, the use of props, and "trouser roles" in opera, only to find herself facing the following accusations: being a lesbian (I guess in the Capital State of Evangelicals it's considered a crime), promoting homosexuality and devil worshipping? She was forced to take an administrative leave.

for Metaviz

... who enjoys posting visual stimulae, something along the line. Why? Because I sometimes feel just like this supernatural woman. And because it's beautiful.



EARPLUG ISSUE #61: Design Credit Decoylab

For the young at heart

Kenny has always been my favourite South Park character... See what happens when I get my hands on a "create your own character" online game?

Ladies and gentlemen, meet ... Lenny.



Dedicated to alpha, who dared say I'm not funny when I blog. I didn't ring his neck just because we where at the Guggenheim museum and I already had enough on my hands - fans to fend off and Art to take in (Art, what Art? I was so sick for all I know it could have been a Dubuffet show, not the very good David Smith show that it actually was).

IN-YOUR-FACE alpha ;)

on the S-word

With regards to my previous post: one of my most faithful readers found it disturbing. Given the fact that she's neither prissy nor naive, I wondered what in hell could have caused her to pucker up and shake her head while reading it. I respect her opinion very much, you know.

Two options: option one, that she may have thought I actually tried the practice I discuss with my boss in said entry (inserting you-know-what you-know-where). .Well, if that is the case, no i haven't. Not that I think it would be despicable, I'm just stating a fact. Option two, that certain taboos are tough to beat, no matter how open-minded or experienced one is. In this country, I believe, there's a gap of knowledge, awareness, acceptance when it comes to ... the S. (I know I haven't discovered anything new. I know this is only true as far as the general public goes, we're not talking about Madame Styx here)

With regards to another S-word... as I told my man Avenger, someone at the New York Mag clearly isn't getting any: for the second time in a little more than a month their cover story is about sex. From the February, 6 issue: "Love and the Ambisexual, Heteroflexible Teen by Alex Morris - Researchers find it shocking that 11 percent of American girls between 15 and 19 claim to have same-sex encounters. Meet Alair, her unconsummated crush Jane, their friend Elle, her bisexual boyfriend, and the rest of the heteroflexible gang".

Off the top of my head, again, is any of this new? Or is there only more awareness, due to a greater media coverage (oh, the beauty of coincidences: see, the "Brokeback mountain effect") and an increased tendency to speakout (and showoff) among teens?

Do I get a medal at the end of the Game?

(in case you were wondering, it IS a quote - Reality bites, Winona Ryder's line, kinda sorta)

The following conversation took place this morning, as I was massaging my boss' wife. Just before discussing the practice of inserting pieces of ginger root into the anus, bursting pleasure guaranteed (it's like Dentyne fire for ass), with my boss. No, I'm not an intern at Fleshbot, alas. And massage and discussion occurred at different times. And I don't have sex with my boss either although I happen to discuss it, for various reasons (preparing his interview with Hugh Hefner, commenting on the humongous hickey on my neck, courtesy of .amp).

M (Me). BW (Boss' wife).

BW (after 2 minutes of shoulder rubbing) - WOW, you're really amazingly good at this!
M (always the modest) - Thank you, thank you.
BW - No, seriously, it's fantastic! So, wait a minute ... your men get THIS?
M (trying hard not to crack up at the thought of what else my men get before, during and after massages) - Well, yeah (sigh)
BW - WOW. You spoil them.
M - Uh, you think?
BW - Yeah. I mean, too much, too soon. It's like with dogs in training, you know? You can't stuff them with treats when you just started teaching them not to piss on your 2K$ Persian rug.
M - Well, I guess. Of course, that would explain a lot of things.
BW - Such as?
M - My love life, for the past say TEN years?
BW - Share with the class.
M - Well, I'm always the best fuck they've ever had (I guess I was already transitioning to my following convo with boss here). The most arresting smile they've ever seen. The most beautiful face they've ever set their eyes on. The best cuisine they've ever tasted. The most supportive friend. The most elegant woman. The smartest brain.
BW - Ok?
M - Then how come I'm alone?
BW - Well, it's always you leaving them right?
M - Not the ones I really want. Those, for one reason or the other, slip through my fingers.
BW - Well, there you have it my friend.
M - Too much too soon?
BW - Too much too soon.
M - Yeah, I guess you're right. Sometimes I feel like I'm a a car-dealer trying to sell a used La Sabre. Actually, I feel like I'm the used car, trying too hard to sell itself.
BW (turning around, actually tearing up) - Aw... don't say so or you're gonna make me cry! If YOU are insicure, then there's no hope for the rest of us.
M - So, I mean, so WHAT? Like, I'm too perfect or something? Do I get a medal at the end of this game?

Because ladies, you know, it IS a crying game. Sans Forrest Whitaker.

Ok, off to discuss gingerized anuses now. See ya.

what I want to see next at Moma

Pixar exhibit at Moma with my man .amp, had NO idea so much work went into the pre-production of animation. Before opening a door (a-ha! Monsters Inc's doors bridging the world of monsters with little kids' closets... genius) on John Lasseter's world I thought colorscripts were upgraded versions of the color palettes used by fashion designers and home decorators. Uh, nope.

Loaded with visual endorphins I asked myself: what exhibit-art installation would I like to see next? Easy. Movie posters. Must have been the conversation with Shepard Fairey, the mind and monolithic trait behind Obey-Andre the Giant. All he had to do to flip that switch was mention one name: Saul Bass. Because Hitchcock's "Anatomy of a murder" is not only Ellington's score. But also Bass' poster. The dream sequence in Vertigo? He directed it. Vertigo's poster? His. Etc etc etc.



And after that? Cd covers, all-time best.



(not an all-time best, but not bad either)

Best music writing

For beginners, aficionados, voyeurs and whatnot of that elusive genre that is Music journalism I warmly recommend my reading for this past holidays: "Best music writing 2005", Da Capo press. Provided they can get over the fact that it's edited by the artist formerly known as... JT LeRoy. Swallow, if you can, this jagged little pill. Swallow with grace, I'm sure you can, we've all swallowed much worse than that in our blazing, vicious lives. And you'll be blessed with two of the best features on the Clash - and the year 1979 as watershed in punk rock - I've ever read. Long live the Queen.

If on the other hand time is your problem and you only bite into what can be read during the average human crap (quote, "The big chill", Jeff Goldblum) then I URGE you to sit down with your sphincter and a copy of this week's New York magazine. Jay McInerney's cover story on The Strokes? Forget it. Makes me wanna bury myself in that bathroom - with MY sphincter thank you very much - and never resurface again, at least not to write anything about music.

Lines like: "it's always 3 a.m. in Casablanca's voice"
"I thought I was going to have a contact anxiety attack"
Just read the LEAD for Chrissake: "Hiding behind a pair of of big aviator shades and clutching the mike stand, Julian Casablancas can hardly tell if he's singing or not, the monitors are so murky, and lead guitarist Nick Valensi feels like the bass is some kind of malignant force swallowing all the music..."
IsItFinallyItForTheStrokes?

I mean shit like that makes you feel like shit. Makes your ego be that jagged little pill you can't seem to swallow.

Christmas and NYE, Italia-style